Monday, June 15, 2015

Final Post

Well as this is my last email from the grand country of Chile, it will be a long one.
This experience has been one of the most enriching and satisfying moments of my life. I have learned who I am, where I am going and how I am going to get there. I know that this mission has prepared me for the eternities and I don't want you all to worry that I will adjust badly to real life. I won't. I know I won't. I made a decision a long time ago to not let my mind get out of my own control. I know what I need to do.
I was able to have an amazing experience this past week that will forever mark my life. My converts from my first sector in the mission L. and S., got sealed in the temple for time and all eternity. I was blessed enough to get to the temple in time to see them go through a session and get sealed. I have never felt the spirit so strongly. When they saw me in the celestial room S. (who is deaf) yelled "HERMANA FARNER!" (in the silent celestial room) and he rushed over to hug me (which I had to reject) and just was SO happy to see me. Along with L. that said "May God be blessed for giving us the opportunity to have you here with us as we take this final step" I was so filled with gratitude. This was the greatest experience of my mission. The people I found the very first day of my mission. Getting sealed the last full week. Nothing better :)
As I reflected on this moment in my personal study the next day, I realized something very special. When S. and L. were to be baptized I was changed to El Monte so I couldn't assist. I had decided to really dedicate myself to El Monte because I was having a hard time forgetting my first sector. It was a Saturday when I decided to forget the old and start taking out the trash. But that day the Assistants to the President called me and said I had permission to make the hour and a half trip to see them get baptized. I was TORN. How could I miss the baptism? But how could I go back on my decision to dedicate myself to the work? I went and prayed and felt that I needed to stay. And even though it hurt and I didn't know why, I did it. And that is the day when we had an insane amount of lessons for our time. And that is when the miracle of El Monte started. 
At that time I thought that the blessing for missing the baptism of my Chilean grandparents were the miracles that I saw in El Monte and the rest of my mission. But as I have been reflecting I see that God was preparing me for blessings that were even bigger. 
When I felt the need to extend my mission, it was something I did because I felt like I need to. I knew it was a sacrifice, that it would be hard on not just me but on my family and loved ones. But I felt it strongly and if I have learned anything on my mission it is to follow what God says without asking why. 
I can see clearly now what the Lord was doing all along. Preparing me slowly and surely to see the miracles that come from heart-filled sacrifice and obedience to the Lord and His commandments. He blessed me so much in my missed and He had planned all along this AMAZING moment to see my converts be sealed in the temple. 
I am grateful that I was blindly obedient. I am grateful I never complained. I am grateful that I was faithful. I am grateful that I took what came and did all I could to please the Lord. I am grateful I never gave up. I am grateful that I was happy my ENTIRE mission. I can honestly say that I was happy my entire mission. There were moments of trials but I never fell all the way because the Lord was there. As Gordon B Hinckley says "He reached down to life me up..... my gratitude has no bounds and my thanks has no conclusion". He loves me so much. I can't even fathom it. I am so grateful I extended my mission. That I didn't think too much but rather acted. I am grateful I didn't try to please the crowd, but honor my God.
Although I wasn't able to serve as a true blue through and through missionary in this last month, I have been so spiritually nurtured and strengthened. I have seen the Lord´s hand work in my life and I bind my words with the words of Spencer W. Kimball that after this life "I shall not know any better than I know now that He is the Son of God". 
I have come to know the Savior, I have felt His love, I have seen His hand in my life, I have felt His comfort, I have been lifted by His sacrifice.
Thank you for letting me stay here. I needed to be here just a titch longer to really understand why I came.
I will miss this country. It has become holy ground. A promised land and a jar of memories that I pray will never fade. I came here someone completely different and leave a lot closer to being what the Lord desires me to be.
I plan to continue with the flight of the eagle as the temple presidency of the Chile temple put it. I wasn't just sent to the mission, but to the earth, to make waves.
Hermana Farner
Chile Santiago BEST

Monday, June 8, 2015

Sweet and Sour

I have been doing a lot of reflection here in these last few weeks. I have learned a lot about the importance of the love the Lord has for me. 
I have always added at the end of that phrase that the "Lord love me" with another few words "because I did...". 
In these last few weeks where I cannot measure my success and effort with a number or a face, I lost focus a little bit and let the adversary convince me that I was wasting time being out here in the mission. That I was just wandering around and tagging along. Solely because I couldn't see the physical and numerical progression that I have been able to see throughout my mission every single day previously.
I did a lot of pondering. A lot of praying. A lot of reading. And no words on paper can describe what I have learned. God loves me. And not "because I do" but rather "in spite of the fact that I do...". He does not measure who I am or the effort I give through other´s opinion of me nor the fact that I numerically cannot show him what I have done. 
He looks at my soul. He looks at me way deeper than I have been able to achieve and through His grace He has carried me to heights that I cannot comprehend.
I have felt these last few weeks the Lord supporting me physically as well as spiritually. Physically I am not doing so well. The 19 months of pure work has taken its toll on my poor young body. Rest is needed but rest cannot be found. We work until the last day. God carries me.
My mission president sent me a thank you this week that I don't believe that I deserve. But I know that I have let the Atonement take place in my mission and I might deserve that praise he gave me only through the merits and mercy of He who knows. My gracious Savior, my dear Redeemer, my one true friend. Jesus Christ of whom I testify in every moment that I can. He is who has made me able to receive the success I have received. I am so grateful for this time of my life. I cannot express
I know that this is my second to last email. It is a heart wrenching and exhilarating moment at the same time. Sweet and sour. Excited to start a new chapter but broken inside to have to leave a race that I adore with all my heart. My heart stays in Chile. But my spirit will come home with me to start to complete what the Lord aspires of me.
Love you lots!
Hermana Farner

Monday, June 1, 2015

Life-long Friend

We had a rough week this week. It is hard to help people who don't want help. It's hard when you see the people who are supposedly your fellow warriors, just slacking off, working inefficiently, whining, making excuses and then testifying about the Lord. It is really sad. A whole new aspect of the mission that I never thought I would be responsible for. But that is where the Lord teaches me an important message:  Take your own advice.
Since when has a challenge been too much for Hermana Farner, Hermana T. and The Lord and Savior Jesucristo? I am pretty sure the answer is NEVER. We are working harder and harder to get the girls excited, recognize their potential and to take upon themselves the responsibility to take care of the garden the Lord has given them. We make errors, that is for sure, but that's why we have repentance and the Atonement. I have never been so grateful for the Atonement in my life. And for Hermana T. First friend I have ever had that stood up for me when I made a controversial decision. If I get anything out of this last change in the mission is that I have found a life long friend that I really do trust with my life. K T=BOSS
Love you all and thanks for your prayers. I can feel them.
I only have like 2 more emails or something crazy like that.
Hermana Farner

Monday, May 25, 2015

Sister Travelling Leaders

Talk about a crazy week. We got back to our sector in the good ol Ochagavia and 3 days later we got called as sister travelling leaders. What does that mean? We moved to a nice apartment in a condominium with a pool (that we can't swim in) next to a mall (we can't go in) and don't have a sector assigned to us. What do we do? We go and stay with different sisters every couple of days and teach them, train them, and help them reach their potential.
Why do I have this calling? I ain't got a clue. Sometimes I feel like the Lord puts way too much confidence in me. But I know He is wanting me to learn something very specific for these last few weeks of my mission. I am staying as focused as possible. It is a little challenging because I don't have investigators, less actives, ward or anything.
We went to the coast for the first time in my mission. It was pretty cool to see the water and the beach and smell the salty air. But talk about some HILLS it was like hiking. INSANE. Pretty fun though. Me and Hermana T still goin' strong as amigas and compaƱeras. She is a really good girl. I hope that you all can meet her.
Time is going by faster than I thought and it is weird to see my flight information. Did you get it?
Give Hollan a big ol hug from me!
Love you lots!
Hermana Farner

Monday, May 11, 2015

Blessing Preparation

It is amazing how the Lord prepares us for blessings. I say prepares us for blessings because imagine if things weren't hard, it would not be nearly as great as we would like to receive blessings. If we keep that perspective, we start to realize that there are no trials, just moments of blessing preparation, because like Jeffery R. Holland says, THE BLESSINGS WILL ALWAYS COME:
I know you and the family are also in a moment of blessing preparation but the blessings will be grand and glorious, just like Dieter F Uchtdorf says in his talk about how to find truth and light, when you get it, IT WILL BE GLORIOUS.
I feel honored and blessed to serve the Lord. I feel honored and blessed that He wants me to stay. I feel attacked and tried every day and I am grateful for it. Because I am making a difference. I am a threat to the devil, and I will always be. Thank you for being my parents. Love you lots.
Hermana Farner

Monday, May 4, 2015

Time is flying

Time is flying for sure. Saw Hermana Todesco in the temple right before she leaves. WEIRD. We saw each other at the beginning and the end.
Went through some really emotionally challenging things this week but you know that is part of the mission. Just glad that I have the best comp ever. There is a lot that has happened and I would rather tell you on Mother's Day so that we don't have to have miscommunications.
I am very grateful to be out here and thanks for sending pictures. MADE MY LIFE: I FORGOT WHAT YALL LOOKED LIKE.
Love you lots!
Hermana Farner