I am a Giant

My camera is still jacked up but Hermana Mc let me borrow hers and I just put my memory card in it.

We had a super good Sunday. We had another lesson on faith in Relief Society which was legit. All of our lessons on faith have really helped me a lot. This one was about Nephi building his ship and Hermana P related it to our lives and house we are building our mission ships. How in the CCM we have the ore to build tools to use in the mission to create our ships. It was pretty good.

Then we had a pretty sweet devotional by Elder Holland. He is a really powerful speaker and scares me a little in a good way. He talked about some of the greatest missionaries in our time and one of them was Addison Pratt. Basically that is who you named Addison after because we all know she is going to be an awesome missionary.

Then this week was a little tough because one of districts in our zone left and Sunday night was the last time we saw them. Also another district I got tight with from another zone left which made it doubly hard. I was so sad when we sang ‘God be with you til we Meet again.’  I looked over at my buddies from VB and all the good times we had and I lost it. I have never cried so hard in my life. It is amazing to see how close a group of people can become when we are all united in the same purpose and are together for just a couple of weeks. I miss them a lot. Especially Elder L, he was way too awesome. I wish I could have got a picture for all of you! He is pretty cool. 

Last week on Pday I played 6 hours of volleyball. My body feels like it is still playing high school basketball and my knees look like it too.

When you are in the MTC you start to see what your weaknesses are. I have gained a ton of strength from Ether 12:27, prayer has become such an integral part of my life it is ridiculous. God is literally the only person that I can talk to that I know for a fact is listening and actually cares about what I have to say here. It is one of the greatest things that I could receive but I still feel lonely at times because even though I can feel his comfort and love, there are so many distractions that I feel like sometimes I miss it unless I have my own special place to be alone. Which only happens when Hermana is asleep because I have to be with her 24/7. I take back all the times that I told Brother Knopf that being with someone all day everyday would be easy. It is one of my biggest challenges here. But I know that if I ask God, he will give me strength to achieve as long as I do what I need to.

We had a challenge to read a chapter in the BOM and pray to see if it is true. I chose to read Alma 5 and I got an answer that it is the word of God. Right before I was having difficulties with some of the elders and hermanas. Then I knew why I had chosen that chapter, or rather God had inspired me to read that chapter and gain a testimony of it because it is all about having a change of heart. I know that in order to repent or get better, a change of heart is required. I think that is why they call it in the scriptures as a softened heart, because it is changeable and will always be that way. There is no end to what we go through until we see God again, so changes within us have to keep happening every day in order to get closer to God.

Jean Rhinehart. Thank you so much for my temple journal. I have been using it as my main journal here. I only have a couple pages left. But it has been such an inspiration and also has been one of the coolest spiritual experiences ever. At the bottom of each page there is scripture and it always corresponds with what I am dealing with every day. Me and Elder T just sit and marvel at it sometimes. It is so cool. So thank you so much!!

Look up the song "My Kindness Shall Not Depart From Thee". It is one of the favorites in the district. Especially Elder T's. He sings it all the time. It is so awesome.

Also I really like canteloupe and super-hot salsa now.

We had a rock paper scissors tournament and I was seeded number 2 when we went to challenge the other district and stinking Elder N beat me in an upset in the first round. I was so mad.

Back to faith real fast, Dad said one of my greatest assets in the mission field was my knowledge of the scriptures, I somewhat agree and somewhat don´t. There is a strange balance and dichotomy between faith and knowledge. I feel like everything in the Gospel to me has been so knowledge based that I lost some of the wonder that faith brings to our lives. One of the girls here talked about this thing in Ether 2 and 3 that says that we sometimes we are like the Brother of Jared and are camped on the beach looking at the sea, but won't take that leap of faith into the water and go for it. I need to that, just have faith. Man I love faith. I am learning so much about it. If you can, just study what faith really is. It will blow your mind.

I also learned how to teach the BOM with Elder C. One of the best experiences ever. It was just like talking with Nairne. I can’t really explain why I liked it so much but we really bonded over it and I love teaching investigators about the Book of Mormon now.

Elder A secretly left me a bueno bar on my desk. It was the nicest thing ever. I made Elder B tell me who it was or else it would have been completely anonymous. Remind me to tell you about his conversion story. So cool.

All in all. Hard but amazing week. I have never cried so hard in my life, I sat in a chair, stared at a wall and cried for hours when those elders left, but I have never been so happy in my life. Sometimes I just sit and smile at my life and how blessed I am to be a representative of Jesus Christ. I can't wait to talk to you guys, SO MUCH I WANT TO SAY!

Last thing, I am a giant here. Seriously, everywhere I go I am so much taller than all the people and whiter and have longer hair. I feel like Addison! Here is a pic of me and Hermana with the roommates. It’s hilarious. I think that is everything.

Ether 12:27 and 1 Nephi 16. :)